What: Destiny, revelations, and Eamyre's mental state.
When: Right after the last post! (we talked a loooong time)
Avarian opens her eyes to lock them with Haladreth, 'I have been amongst your people, though that was some time ago.'
Laerion's mouth goes dry, and he just gazes at Avarian in wonder. Haladreth shakes her head, 'Living in Lindon, we have encounted the elven kind, on occasion, but we usually have kept to ourselves.'
'I know the song from before, when your people dwelt in the realm of Thargelion, which has now sunk far beneath the sea, never to return.' she says, softly.
Haladreth shakes her head, 'Those have always been tales to amuse children by, nothing more. My people have dwelt in those forests since Arnor's fall, and in forests farther East before that.''
'The forest of Brethil, on the outskirts of Doriath. But before that, it was Thargelion.' She chuckles, softly.
'Beleriand,' Laerion says quietly. Being around Laeriel, he'd picked up some things, here and there, and had taken somewhat of an interest in certain events.
'Beleriand,' she nods. The nodding shakes her hair out of the loose bun she was wearing to pull hair over her ears, and it falls around her shoulders. Eartips are so very visible now.
Running a hand through his hair, Laerion stood, excused himself, and hobbled out. Haladreth just looked steadily at the elf, and said, 'Out of the mists of time? Elves live far longer than I knew.'
Avarian watches Laerion go with a frown, then turns back to Haladreth, 'I have been alive since before the first age of the sun.' she says, just as steadily. 'Though as the world fades, so do we all, my kin. At some point, I, too, will fade away.'
'I believe so.' Haladreth gently lays Eamyre out, sitting up straighter, 'You, sooner than most. I see how you look at him, and he you. There exists a shadow on your heart - you are strong, but are you yet strong enough?' Okay, so she's a little protective of Laerion. And if she's jealous, she hides it exceptionally well.
'It is ill-fated, and cannot be.' she whispers, shaking her head. 'He should make a good life with you. I kept my distance for this long in the hopes that he would.' she tilts her head to one side, considering the other comments, then sighs, 'And I do not know what strength there is left in me. I have been fighting the shadow for a very, very long time.'
'I think,' The huntress says. 'I think, that if you give into this, and lose him, then the shadow will be what has won. It will not be without hardship and pain, on either part.' Her voice changes slightly, her throat working, 'I am not for him. It would be a good life, yes, but I am not for him.' And she glances down at Eamyre in such a way as to say 'and nor am I for her...'
'It would not be fair to him. It endangers his soul nearly as much as it does mine. And giving in to it would be beyond selfish. He should marry a mortal, one he can share eternity with, in the place beyond. One he can have children with. He is not for me, either.' she shakes her head.
Eamyre is just.... laying on her side, staring at the wall. Just.. staring. Poor girl. :(
'I think that is a choice best left for him,' Haladreth states.
Avarian leans back in her chair and sighs, 'I do not mind so much, dying sooner than later. I am already doomed, regardless. My death was assured the moment I came to these lands. But still, he should have someone else. Someone more worthy of him. Someone who will treat him well, who has no large shadows on their hearts or heavy burdens to carry.'
Haladreth nods her head. In truth, she agreed, yet, at the same time, 'We all make our own beds, and we all lay upon them. He will make his own choices.'
'And you assume that I love him. I do not.' she says, flatly. 'Even if I did, I would avoid this choice. It is not in his best interests. One must not turn away from love, but that does not mean marriage, and children, and sharing a bed.' she shrugs, and closes her eyes.
Haladreth simply nods, then pulls Eamyre up and pats her cheek, 'Nay, nay, you must not sleep yet. I am sorry.'
Eamyre sighs softly, 'I could not bear living forever, if life was like this all the time,' she whispers. She's been eavesdropping. 'At some point, do you not tire and wonder why? Why keep going? What is the point?' she whispers, in a tiny voice.
Avarian nods her head slightly, but says nothing. She knows better.
'Because you are not an island,' Haladreth interjects. 'You affect those around you, and they affect you. You are never alone, no matter how much you might wish it. You are not an island.'
Eamyre shakes her head, wincing at the movement, and falls silent. She is so beyond tired of all of this.
'We've sent for Gramsael,' She whispers.
Eamyre sighs, 'You should not have done that.'
'What would you have me do?!'
She shakes her head, wincing again. 'I do not know. Nothing. What is there to do?' she says in a barely audible whisper.
Avarian frowns, opening her eyes and exchanging a look with Haladreth. And mentally cursing her lack of elven healing skills.
'He should be here for you,' Laerion says, walking into the room. He's mostly ignoring everything else he'd over heard. He didn't want to think about it. An Eldar, and a woman of Haladreth's stature, both drawn to him. It was mildly unnerving! 'None of us can give you what he can.'
'He has nothing more than either of you have.' Eamyre says, a bit more loudly, but with this... kind of numb tone to her voice.
'Look me in the eyes,' Laerion commands. 'And say his name.' And he looks HER in the eye, to see what is there when she does so.'
Avarian has her eyes on Laerion again. She's trying to find, in him, whatever it was that Haladreth saw for them both.
Eamyre looks into Laerion's eyes, with a kind of deadpan and numb expression in hers. She opens her mouth to say Gramsael's name, and finds that she can't. And shuts her mouth. For a moment, her eyes almost flash with all the pain, and sorrow, and desperation that she'd be feeling if she let herself.
'Do you see? Do you feel? That man is more to you than a friend, or a brother. There is no shame or dishonour in admitting that.' Laerion sits down carefully, his eyes never leaving Eamyre's face.
Eamyre sighs, 'Do you see? Look into my eyes, and tell me that I am not broken.' she whispers softly. 'There are other women in the mark. Ones that do not have stains on their honor. Younger ones. Let him love those.'
He shakes his head, folding his fingers together and leaning foward, his chin on his hands, 'Love is not so simple a thing, as to be cast aside like so much trash. There is more to honour, than you would allow.'
Avarian stands, and quietly slips out. Eamyre sighs, 'There are many ways to love someone, and not all of them involve the things you and the Lady would continue to force on me.'
'We force nothing - it is just folly to turn away from something that would make you happy!'
'You do not know if it would make me happy or not! Bema! I cannot even sleep in the same bed as the man! The last time I tried I nearly gutted him in the morning! That is no life for him. He should be free to express his love how he wishes, not constantly need to treat me like some delicate broken thing. Nay.' she shakes her head. 'Nay.' and her eyes settle back into that half-dead look, 'He will have someone else. And that is fine.'
Haladreth lowered her head, her hair obscuring her eyes. Laerion just watched the women, unable to think of what to say.
'Especially after this... I cannot even give him the things he wants.' she adds.
'I am sorry.' Haladreth says, as Laerion slowly stands and walks out, then adds, 'I am sorry I was not there, when you needed me.'
Haladreth slaps her, before the word 'equal' has fully been said. There is rage, and indignation in her eyes, and yet there is understanding, and compassion, and love.
Eamyre just sighs, curls up, and goes back to staring at the wall.
'You would have them win. By giving up, by giving in, by thinking that way! By not pursuing what YOU want and what YOU need! You would have them -WIN-! Damn them and curse them and dance upon their graves because YOU are alive and YOU are happy and you have what you WANT and you NEED!'
'They have already won. I did not want them to, but they have. They stole my life, they stole my house... because of them, I came north, and because I was north with those fell things, I lost my child. They have already won.' she whispers, defeated.